Introduction

Being in a marriage where your self-worth is often undermined and your value underestimated can be heart-aching. Oftentimes, you give your best to see how things could work out but it always ends up hurting you more. “Should I take a walk from this thing called marriage?” has been a disturbing question to some spouses who really want things to work out.  

Who is a Toxic Spouse? 

Any partner whose actions and inactions are geared towards destroying everything that makes you human is a toxic spouse. They drain you emotionally, physically, socially, spiritually, and otherwise. They kill your joy, peace, warmth, enthusiasm and will go the extra mile to break you until your whole essence of living becomes a shadow of your own very being. 

How do I Know I am in a Toxic Relationship with My Spouse? 

There are quite vital and often undermined signs that show your partner is toxic. A toxic spouse have that take-and-take mentality: they like to have the benefits and they do not give, no matter how little, they have an entitlement mentality and all they are good at is taking everything from you and not in any way reciprocate or appreciate you. There are feelings of insecurity, as if something is missing out in them; you are always afraid of airing out your opinions. They are poor and lacking when it comes to communication. A toxic partner will always manipulate you with their words and actions, and capitalizing on that, they get you anytime they want because they have succeeded in making you helpless. When your partner begins to compare you with people, body-shaming and making you feel miserable, then this person wants you to have a low self-esteem.  

How to Deal with a Toxic Spouse  

Recognition is very important when it comes to recognising if a person is toxic because many are blinded by the ‘love, but can’t see the toxicity in front of them. Once you recognise that the relationship is toxic, accept it and do something about it. Don’t be afraid to open up to your partners on things you are not comfortable with. Set boundaries. Don’t allow your partner to make you feel they are doing you a favour by being with you. Work on yourself, look good, and focus on building yourself. Take responsibility for your actions and don’t allow pride to destroy your union. Seek professional help.  

Conclusion 

Have you acknowledged that your spouse is toxic? You are on your way to healing. You have got to know that you are special. Set your boundaries and focus on things that make you better rather than focusing on the hurts. Take care of ‘YOU’ because when you are gone, life continues. Don’t be afraid of losing people, be more afraid of losing yourself than to gain people. Discuss with your partner things you think both of you need to work on and if they cherish you, they will give it a try. Seek support from counselors when it becomes necessary. Your mental health is vital! You are special in your own way. 

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