Introduction
Discipline is one of the most important qualities one should have in order to achieve goals and live a successful life. Discipline comes with a couple of different meanings to it. Discipline means;
- Following rules
These can be external rules set by someone else, a parent, teacher, coach or mentor. Meanwhile, they can be internal rules that you set for yourself.
- Self-control
The ability to control your behaviour or behaviours in order to meet and achieve your goals. Staying focused and setting goals to attain achievements are some of the aspects of self-control.
Therefore, discipline is about following rules and self-control and the main objective being becoming an achieved individual.
Here is a list of 7 ways discipline can be built in your teens.
- Scheduling
Parents should work together with their teens and create a daily or weekly schedule. Structure is a helpful tool for teens. The schedule should focus on schoolwork, extracurricular activities, chores, hobbies, leisure time and a sleep routine. Working together with your teens to create a schedule gives them some autonomy over their life. Responsibility and time ownership is fostered. This is helpful to teens as well because they gain knowledge and skill in prioritisation and time management is acquired from scheduling.
- Set goals
Set achievable goals together with your teens. These goals can be related to overall school performance, chores and personal development. This helps teens become goal oriented individuals, making them invested in activities that will help them achieve their goals. Setting goals gives teens a sense of ownership.
- Rewards
Recognition is a very powerful tool. Parents should create a reward system for their teens. Rewarding reinforces positive behaviour. The rewards should be specific and earned through following the schedule and achieving the set goals. The rewards could include a bonus on the allowance money, having extra leisure time or later curfews especially on weekends.
- Facing consequences
Discipline also involves giving your teens autonomy, parents should not always jump in and punish teens for ill-discipline. When teens make mistakes or conduct themselves poorly, they face and experience the natural consequences of their actions. Natural consequences can be forgetting to do their homework resulting in lower grades or not practicing as required for an extracurricular activity. Teens facing and experiencing natural consequences will teach them the negative side effects of being ill disciplined. This teaches them effective accountability for their actions form that point onwards.
- Two-way communication
Communication is the key to successful discipline measures. Parents should not just lay down rules only, they should talk openly with their teens about what is going on in their life and the environment in which they spend their time. Discuss the consequences of good and bad decision making. Let teens voice their opinions during the discussion without interrupting them. This fosters effective two-way communication where both parent and teen are heard and have a voice. An environment where teens are comfortable discussing challenges and seeking guidance is created.
- Choices
Teens should be given the power to make choices within the set boundaries. This can be choosing how they do school homework, studying for a test or choosing their chores. Empowering teens through choice builds decision making skills, an individual with their own thought process and autonomy from parents is fostered as well.
- Parents should be a role model
Parents should be the first role model in their teens’ lives. Teens watch and can comprehend every move their parents make, therefore parents should practice what they preach by demonstrating self-discipline through the choices they make, work ethic, time management, meeting obligations to name a few. Teens will see the value of responsibility from their parents reflecting what they expect from them.
Conclusion
Encouraging discipline in teens is a continuous journey of learning and doing better every time, not just for teens but parents as well. Parents need to remain patient and consistent in building discipline in teens. Most importantly is to remember these are just guidelines to help parents build discipline in teens. The key to succeeding in building discipline in teens is to find what works best for you, your teens and family dynamic.
