The elders said, “A man is the iroko,
He does not bend before the wind.”
So we forged our sons from iron,
And wondered why they rusted in silence.

He wakes before the rooster’s hymn,
Carrying a family on shoulders
Already bruised by yesterday.
His pockets are measured before his heartbeat;
His worth, before his name.

The village says,
“Men don’t cry.”
So he buries his tears
Like yam beneath the earth,
Hoping no one notices
The harvest is grief.

His laughter is a borrowed wrapper,
Bright enough for ceremonies,
Too thin for lonely nights.
He is called strong,
Yet strength has become
The prison with no key.

How ironic!
The one expected to rescue everyone
Is the last to be rescued.
The hands that build the family hut
Are seldom asked
If they are bleeding.

His mind is a calabash with hidden cracks;
Water smiles upon its surface,
Yet sorrow leaks beneath.
He counts school fees,
Hospital bills,
Rent,
The ageing parents,
The hungry children,
The promises made beneath wedding vows—
Each one another stone
Inside a basket already too heavy.

When the marriage trembles,
He is told to endure.
When work disappears,
He is told to endure.
When sleep abandons him,
He is told to endure.
When hope leaves quietly before dawn,
He is told… nothing.

Then the village gathers,
Shocked that another man
Has chosen the rope,
The river,
Or the silent poison of despair.

But no one remembers
How long he had been dying
With his eyes open.

Africa,
The baobab does not stand alone;
Its roots drink together.
Why then must our fathers, brothers, and sons
Carry storms in solitude?

Let us teach our boys
That tears do not uproot a man.
That asking for help
Does not empty his manhood.
That courage is not the absence of pain,
But the wisdom to speak it aloud.

For a man is not unbreakable.
He is human.

And the strongest village
Is not the one where men never cry
It is the one where,
When they do,
They are not left to weep alone.

Poem Description 

“The Man Who Must Not Cry” is a poignant poem that challenges the cultural expectation that men must suppress their emotions to prove their strength. Through powerful African imagery and symbolism, it reveals the hidden burdens many men carry as providers, protectors, and pillars of their families while suffering in silence. The poem exposes the emotional cost of toxic masculinity and the devastating consequences of neglecting men’s mental health. Ultimately, it calls on families and communities to redefine strength, encouraging compassion, vulnerability, and support for men. It reminds us that true resilience grows when no one is forced to suffer alone.