Introduction

In the legal sense of the term, a widow is defined as a woman whose husband (the man to whom she is legally married) has died, the matrimonial bond uniting them still being in force at the time of death. When the opposite occurs, the bereaved man is said to be a widower. In Africa in general, and in Cameroon in particular, one of the few things a widow and widower have in common is the loss of their spouse. In fact, in a Cameroonian society that is still strongly patriarchal (where men have more authority than women), the widow faces more difficulties than the widower. These difficulties are manifold: psychological, customary, social and legal.

I- The widow’s social and psychological ordeal

When a woman loses a man with whom she has been intimate for a long time, the shock is first and foremost psychological. The woman suffers the loss of a life partner, leaving her with a feeling of loneliness to which she must adapt. As well as loneliness, many widows also experience feelings of fear, uncertainty and insecurity due to the departure of the man who was supposed to protect them and provide for the family.  In addition to these psychological pains, they suffer negative social treatment from those around them.

In Cameroon, a woman’s social status changes when she marries; she becomes “madam such and such” or “the wife of…”. Because of this status, she enjoys a certain consideration and respect, especially if the husband is well known. Losing this status of “the wife of…” following the death of a spouse is a blow to the woman’s self-esteem. The recent widow then becomes the object of society’s intrigues under the pretext that “the man is no longer there to defend her”; many people take advantage of their vulnerability to inflict all kinds of treatment on them: disrespect, blackmail, insults, demeaning words, etc.

 We should also mention the fact that these widows’ friends become suspicious of them; many think: “since her husband has died, she might set her sights on mine”. As a result, many widows find their circle of friends shrinking because of this prejudice. And while we’re on the subject of prejudice, in Cameroon, when a married man dies, his wife is almost always one of the top 3 suspects. In fact, there’s an ironic expression used in Cameroon to console widows: “Don’t listen to these accusations. Don’t you know that all widows have killed their husbands?

II- Customary and legal challenges

In Cameroon, marriage between a man and his wife is a process that combines two dimensions: customary and legal. Each of these has consequences for the wife when her husband dies.

In the customary dimension, after payment of the dowry and customary ceremonies, the man and woman are considered to be spiritually united. Once the dowry has been paid, the woman can leave her family and become a full-fledged member of her in-laws. When the husband dies, the widow must go through a series of traditional rites not only to mark her respect for her husband’s memory, but also to sever the spiritual bond (especially if she intends to start a new life with another man) formed at the time of the dowry. This set of rites, supervised and directed by the widow’s in-laws, is called widowhood. In a multi-ethnic country like Cameroon (with over 200 ethnic groups), the widowhood process has its own specificities, depending on each tribe. 

Widowhood is often a torment for widows. Firstly, because some of the rituals they have to undergo are trying. For example: sleeping on the floor for several months after the husband’s death; not taking a bath for x weeks; sleeping in the same room as her husband’s remains, fasting, etc. Secondly, because members of the in-laws sometimes use widowhood as a means of assuaging their will over the widow, under the pretext that she “belongs” to them because she was “bought with the dowry”. It is a pretext for satisfying their desires, particularly sexual desires: this is how several widows testify that they were forced to have sexual relations with close relatives of their deceased husbands under threat of “customary sanctions” for not respecting widowhood. In other families-in-law, certain influential members use widowhood as a pretext to settle scores with the widow and take revenge. Many widows are victims of inhuman and degrading treatment that has nothing to do with custom or tradition; this can range from verbal abuse to physical violence and various forms of humiliation.

Finally, in legal terms, a marriage is recognized and valid once all the formalities required by law have been completed.  Positive law has also established the matrimonial rights that widows are supposed to enjoy on the death of their spouse. However, many widows in Cameroon struggle to benefit fully from these rights. Very often, they are deprived of the inheritance and the percentage of property that is theirs. What’s more, they are very often unaware of their rights and are therefore abused. What’s more, the length of the legal proceedings required to claim what is owed to them is a real obstacle course that discourages many of them.

Conclusion

Widows today need psychological and legal support to help them through their grief and fully enjoy their rights. It is vital that support structures are set up to this end. In addition, their rights need to be publicized as widely as possible so that they are no longer ignorant of them. Lastly, there needs to be a real effort to raise social awareness of the hardships these widows are going through, because so many people hurt them without really knowing the pain they are suffering in silence.