Introduction

Marriage was once a symbol of purity and good up bringing a preservation of cultural values that were passed on from generation to generation. A celebration of two families uniting for a life time purpose. It was once a guarantee that a daughter had found security, protection and provision while for the son, he would get a caregiver (good cook, laundry, etc.), take care of him, bare him children, educate and also take care of them.

Marriage in the Olden Days

Marriage was a union of two families, the selection of whom to marry, obeyed certain traditional norms such: as family beliefs, ties, values, conflicts if any, their way of living and especially the income of the spouse to be. The young generation would have to obey these rules as they helped prevent divorce, abuse, conflicts and sometimes loss of life. The elders would carefully select someone that would make a good husband, father to the children and also supportive to the rest of the family members. Normally, marring well included checking the witchcraft background of the family. Cohabitating was locked down upon.

The Bakongo Traditional Marriage

Taking as an example, in some Angolan cultures, the way of marring was just like a negotiation between the two families. Father and uncle of the young boy, negotiate with the father and uncle of a young girl, the possibility having their boy marring the young girl. In this negotiation, they talk about habits and customs of each family, to find out if they can or cannot marry. If they agree that they can, then they also agree what to give as dot for this relation, which comes to happen in a Dot Paying day, where the things that are agreed upon are given, gifts are exchanged, and a party is done. 

Marriage and its Recent Value

The evolving of our society has eroded marriage values and brought about very significant transformations. The traditional customs are no longer obeyed to the later since modernization popped in. Our new social dynamic have led to a distortion of traditional norms. The once cultural heritage is under serious attack. As cohabiting seems to be the order of the day, divorce rate have risen and as a result, families have been broken. Television has increasingly contributed as people emulate the life style displayed in novels and tv series. 

Conclusion

People today experience greater freedom on who to marry, when and where to marry. Celebrities have served as examples while they marry, remarry and divorce as many times as they feel. It’s no longer elders but “us” that choose whom we want to marry. How can we negotiate between culture, traditions and modernization?