RELATIONAL TRAUMA

Why is it important to seek therapy when having experienced relational trauma?

What is relational trauma?

Close relationships are crucial to our general well-being. Relational trauma refers to trauma that happens within a close relationship, such as a parent-child relationship. It often occurs when a child no longer feels safe or loved due to the disruption of a healthy attachment with their caregiver. A child can be suffering from sexual, physical, or emotional abuse, ongoing medical trauma or chronic neglect and abandonment

What are the causes of relational trauma?

Relational trauma can be caused when a child is abused or neglected by their parents or caregivers. A child might be left hungry or thirsty, dirty without the right sanitation or supervision. Constantly failing to meet a child’s basic needs can be defined as relational trauma. When parents do not fulfill their responsibilities and set healthy boundaries within the family, children have to fill in for these roles themselves. 

What are the signs of relational trauma?

A main characteristic of relational trauma is its cyclical nature. More specifically, when a parent becomes abusive, they will later become apologetic, showing some signs of change trying to gain the trust of the child. For example, they may apologise for their behaviour or say that their behaviour will change. However, once the child starts to trust the parent again, suppressing their memories of abuse, the parent will become abusive again. Another characteristic of a traumatic bond is power imbalance. The child might be experiencing feelings of inadequacy to the point where they no longer know how to break free.

Why is it important to seek help through therapy?

Family therapy, play therapy and adolescent dialectical behaviour therapy can help children to work through relational trauma. It is important to seek therapy to deal with relational trauma because it provides one with the necessary tools to set healthy boundaries in their relationships with other family members. It is advised to address relational trauma through therapy in order to gain confidence and develop a sense of self-worth. If left untreated, relational trauma can have long term effects. They can develop poor mental health, exhibiting anxiety symptoms, depression and behavioural problems. Not coping with relational trauma can further lead to substance abuse, self-harm and suicide in severe instances. 

How long does therapy take?

Therapy can sometimes take months or even years, depending on the case. People deal with trauma at different speeds. It is important to be patient and persevere with the process. It is important to remind yourself that it is not your fault. 

Conclusion

Children are vulnerable to the words and actions of their caregivers. It is important for parents to seek professional help without feeling ashamed. An abusive parent’s behaviour will not suddenly change, however, it is important to spread awareness of the help available to support victims of this form of abuse. 

 

MARIETTA KOSMA

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